People share things that make them instantly lose interest on a first date and now we’re questioning our dates

queer dating
Sources: Pinterest

Queer dating don’ts. Picked by YOU.


(some) Straight folk love to say things like, “dating much be so much easier when you’re gay”, or “I wish I was queer, it’s so hard dating [insert as applicable]. 


The truth is, LGBTQ+ dating is HARD. And, depending on what you’re looking for from the interaction, can come with a whole set of unique obstacles and barriers that sometimes make the whole experience feel like an impossible slog. 


Over on @GaysWhoMemeWell, we asked you to share particular things folk do on dates (or on a dating app) that immediately terminate any hopes of the relationship going any further. 


Now, to start, and to avoid unnecessary repetition in the list: we’re happy to report that LOTS of the replies said any kind of racism, transphobia, or any other prejudices were a complete no-go! 


Also a lot of gay guys said douching and hygiene. So there’s that.


Here’s some of your other replies (there were HUNDREDS so we’ll just pick at random or include any that appear more than once):

Disagree with any or want to add your own? Drop it in the comments on our Instagram post!


“If they pay more attention to their Instagram than me”



“Don’t have social media” 


“Not paying for the first drinks. Or at least trying to pay. Manners people!!”


“If they don’t ask any questions back. Learn not to be so self-centred”


“Bad table manners!”


“If they talk about their exes!”


“If they start talking about politics”


“People who assume being pansexual means I must have a really high sex drive so it will definitely result in sex – is a really sure fire way to rule out any possibility of sex.”

“On their phone all the time!”


“If it’s a hook-up and they didn’t bother to douche beforehand, I will block after I leave”


“If they don’t drink it’s obviously find and very commendable but if they judge me for drinking to make me a bit more at ease then it’s not gonna work” 


“When he shows you a picture of his ex who cheated”


“If she doesn’t like cats it’s game over”


“If they’re ride to wait staff/ don’t tip”


“Eating with their mouth open is a big no”


“One word replies on dating apps aaaaargh”


“Sapphics who say ‘I don’t have any lesbian friends’ like it’s something they’re proud of annoy the shit out of me” 


“If they talk about sex they had literally that morning” 


“This: ‘You’re bi… so do you prefer guys are girls?…. like if you had to choose?’ makes me want to punch them in the face”

“I’ve had guys mention another date they have later that week and I’ve never lost a hard on for someone so quickly lol” 


“If their Grindr is going off during the date… I mean, he can still dick me if he’s hot, but like it’s just rude lol” 


“If they’re conservative/ right-wing”


“Dirty fingernails or anything else that’s poor personal hygiene” 


“If they have bad breath”


“If they talk about their ex all night”


“All lives matter” 


“Grindr guys who fetishize trans women!!!!”


“If they get totally fucked up drunk and sloppy on a first date, I’m out”


“Dating apps if they use too many emojis. Like, you’re not Britney!”


“If they misgender me then we’re probably not hanging out again lol” 


“Thinks JK Rowling is ‘misunderstood'”


“If they still live with their parents (over 30) it’s a no.”


“When they wait until after the date/ sex to tell you they’re in an open relationship” 


“I don’t really like the gay scene annoys me. Like it’s not a personality trait” 



“If they start talking about starsigns – haha” 


“If there’s an age gap. STFU about it. A guy (22) once KEPT saying ‘you don’t look 35’ so when we had sex I felt like a gross old dinosaur”


“When they keep telling you how chilled they are. ‘I’m chilled’, ‘I’m really chill’, ‘I’m very laid back’ etc etc. It’s annoyingly un-chill to keep saying it”  

Disagree with any or want to add your own? Drop it in the comments on our Instagram post!