‘They literally killed me’: Heartbreaking revelations from Britney Spears’ since-deleted voice note as her Mom Lynne responds

Britney Spears shared heartbreaking audio to YouTube, detailing the alleged abuse at the hands of her family.

Britney Spears shared a 22-minute voice note revealing new allegations about the 13 years she spent under a conservatorship.

“They threw me away – that’s what I felt like, my family threw me away,” she said in the audio which has since been deleted (clips below).

In the emotional 22-minute clip, which was shared on Sunday night (August 28), Spears doesn’t hold back detailing her trauma.

“How can I mend this if I don’t talk about this?” she says. “I have an amazing song [referencing her track ‘Hold me Closer’, with Elton John] right now with one of the most brilliant men of our time, and I’m so grateful, but if you’re a weird introvert oddball like me, who feels alone a lot of the time and you needed to hear a story like this today so you don’t feel alone, know this: my life has been far from easy and you’re not alone.”

Then taking to Twitter, Britney began a thread about her return to music:

“Complacency has always been a boring tactic that feels safe … music … creation … producing is where my heart lies and lifts me with inspiration!!! I’ve had the opportunity to work with someone who is beautiful and kind on all levels … I’m honored and I feel loved by his awareness and acknowledgement, not by only my involement [sic] with a song but by my struggles and what I’ve been through !!!”

I’m honored and I feel loved 💕 by his awareness and acknowledgement, not by only my involement with a song but by my struggles and what I’ve been through !!! He knows the hardships of the world on a bigger scale …

— Britney Spears 🌹🚀 (@britneyspears) August 29, 2022

Britney continues, “You can lose your individuality on a fake tale of how other people may percieve you and some idiots like me fall into the trap cause unfortunately I do care … but at the end of the day … I have to honor myself and realize it’s not about pleasing others or driving yourself crazy on what other think … to honor myself … and value myself is the only way to something we all seek … Self love … value of self, and passing that on to every person I encounter !!!”

I have to honor myself and realize it’s not about pleasing others or driving yourself crazy on what other think … to honor myself … and value myself is the only way to something we all seek … Self love … value of self ✨, and passing that on to every person I encounter !!!

— Britney Spears 🌹🚀 (@britneyspears) August 29, 2022

Britney’s audio.

While much of the attention on Spears’ family rifts have been focused on her dad and sister, Britney took aim at her mum in the clip, saying she was “more angry” at Lynne than her father and former conservator Jamie Spears, because “[Lynne] wouldn’t speak up” for her.

She explained: “I heard when reporters would call her at the time, and ask questions of what was going on, she would go innocently hide in the house and she wouldn’t speak up.”

There was always like, ‘I don’t know what to say. I just don’t want to say the wrong thing. We’re praying for her.’

“I feel like she could’ve gotten me a lawyer in literally two seconds… Every time I made contact with a firm, my phone was tapped and they would take my phone away from me.”

Lynne Replies: 

Taking to Instagram, Lynne said in response that she felt “hopeless” following her daughter’s latest post, but vowed to “never turn her back” on the star.

Alongside a picture of the two in happier times, she wrote: “Britney, your whole life I have tried my best to support your dreams and wishes! And also, I have tried my best to help you out of hardships! I have never and will never turn my back on you!

“Your rejections to the countless times I have flown out and calls make me feel hopeless! I have tried everything. I love you so much, but this talk is for you and me only, eye-to-eye, in private.”

Full audio (shared again at the bottom, in case this is deleted. Scroll down for key points):

Elsewhere in the clip, Britney alleged that the conservatorship “was all premeditated” and called it “pure abuse”.

“I know now it was all premeditated,” Britney said talking about the beginning of the conservatorship. “A woman introduced the idea to my dad, and my mom actually helped him follow through and made it all happen. It was all basically set up. There was no drugs in my system, no alcohol, nothing. It was pure abuse.”

“There was no drugs in my system, no alcohol, nothing. It was pure abuse. And I haven’t even really shared half of it.”

Her Vegas residency

“My performances, I know, were horrible,” Britney says. “Like I even wore wigs, and other dancers were doing all these nice sexy head flip turns, and I had conditioner treatment in my hair and these little caps over my head and just during the whole show getting conditioner treatments just with wigs on because I was just like a robot,” she continued, sounding increasingly upset.

“Honestly, I didn’t give a fuck anymore because I couldn’t go where I wanted to go. I couldn’t have the nannies that I wanted to have. I couldn’t have cash.”

“I was a machine. I was a fucking machine. Not even human.”

After the Vegas ‘Piece of Me’ residency:

Britney had been expected to debut a second residency, tiled “Britney: Domination” in 2019.

Britney goes on to detail a particular rehearsal: “I went to one of the rehearsals and I said no to a dance. I was like ‘No, can we do that [instead]? I don’t want to do this,’” she says.

“It was insane how hard I worked. And the one time I speak up and say no in a rehearsal to a fucking dance move, they got pissed”

“I just remember everything got really weird and quiet and all the directors and producers went in the back room and just spoke and that was it”

The next day, Spears says, she was told the residency was postponed and she was being sent to a facility, but was told to lie about it on social media.

“I was supposed to say on my Instagram, the reason why is because my dad is sick, and I need treatment,” she recalls, adding that she didn’t go willingly and only agreed because she felt threatened.

“I remember my dad calling me on the phone, and I was crying, and I was like, ‘Why are you guys doing this?’” Spears says. “And I just remember him saying ‘You have to listen to the doctors, the doctors are gonna tell you what to do, I can’t help you now.’”

According to Spears, her father’s last words before ending the call were:

“You don’t have to go. But if you don’t go, we’re gonna go to court and there’ll be a big trial and you’re gonna lose. I have way more people on my side than you. You don’t even have a lawyer. So don’t even think of that.”

“They put me in an ignorant state of mind to make me feel like I needed them,” Britney continued. The message she heard was: “If you don’t do what we say, we’re going to show you who’s boss.”

Britney’s dad.

“I think the main thing I do remember when I first started was my dad’s control,” she says.

“He loved to control everything I did. I remember the first day he said, ‘I’m Britney Spears, and I’m calling the shots.’ And I’m like, ‘Alrighty then.’ My brother was a football player. And my dad was really, really hard on him when he was younger, and really abusive”.

“All I do remember is I had to do what I was told. I was told I was fat every day. I had to go to the gym,” she says. “I’d never remember feeling so demoralized, and they made me feel like nothing. And I went along with it because I was scared.”

The free Britney movement:

Spears says she was made aware of the “Free Britney” campaign from seeing it on TV.

She recalls seeing one protester in an interview, saying he realized he could be “totally wrong,” but he truly believed the people in charge of the conservatorship were “doing something to her right now.” She recalls him saying, “I’m not sure really what it is. But that’s what my heart says.”

“The whole thing that made it really confusing for me is these people are on the street fighting for me, but my sister and my mother aren’t doing anything,” Spears says.

“To me, it was like [my family] secretly honestly liked me being the ‘bad one,’ like I was messed up, and they kind of just liked it that way. Otherwise, why weren’t they outside my doorstep saying ‘Baby girl, get in the car, let’s go?’”

Reactions to the audio on Twitter: