A gay man in Australia got quite the shock after he discovered his homophobic father was, in fact, cruising Grindr for men.
Making himself known only as Jacob, the young man called into Australian radio programme The Kyle and Jackie O Show, where he shared details of how he made the discovery and – we’ll warn you now – it’s every bit as awkward as you can imagine.
Jacob explained that his parents had been, and seemingly still are, happily married for 27 years and that he had never seen any sign of a “rift” in their relationship, let alone suspected foul play. Or foul gay, for that matter.
His father refused to speak to him for several years after Jacob came out as gay, but the two had only recently built bridges and repaired their relationship.
He said that one day, while having a browse of the local talent (as you do), he clicked on a headless profile (hate it when they do that) when he noticed something familiar. Not the torso. Something more decorative.
“They have one of those ensuites that are through the walk-in closet,” he told the surprised radio duo, per 7News.
“I thought, that looks sort of like my parents’ house”, he continued, before saying, “I clicked through the profile to see if it could be my dad.”
Initially Jacob assumed either someone must be catfishing using his Dad’s pictures or it was just someone with really similar interiors, but decided to investigate by engaging with the account from a blank profile.
“I wasn’t flirting with him, I just engaged in normal conversation, told him I liked his picture and asked where he is from,” Jacob explained.
“Then I asked for a picture of his face – when he sent it through it was my dad.”
Per Daily Mail, Jacob shared he is now torn over how to react and whether to speak to his mum about the whole thing. Which, in all seriousness, must be a fairly traumatic thing.
‘I am very open and forward thinking, I don’t care if he is gay I just don’t want him lying to my mum,’ he said.
‘So now I am torn, do I tell mum, do I confront my dad,’ he asked the two radio hosts, who were… in shock.
Jackie O said she would have ‘walked away’ after seeing the familiar bedroom in the background, but Jacob said, ‘I want to hear his opinion and get his story’.
‘I want to know why he has been hiding it from me for so long’, he continued.
‘He was super against it when I was coming out – he hated me – he was super angry and didn’t want anything to do with me in his life’, adding that it took years for he and his father to get back on good terms.
Then acknowledging that ‘The older closeted men are often homophobic’, he went on to say, ‘I just don’t want this to hurt my mum.’
Listeners to the live radio show (I would have been glued to the fu*king speaker) chimed in with advice for Jacob, with one saying:
‘You have to discuss this with both of your parents, they have to be aware’.
Another understanding listener spoke from experience, saying: ‘My partner had a similar thing happen, his dad had six kids, was a construction manager and appeared happily married.’
‘Your dad will be happier if he can be true to his real identity, and your mum deserves the chance to be happy too,’ he said.
While another male caller revealed how he had found gay magazines in his dad’s car and decided to follow him after work one day.
“I found out what he was doing in the evening,” the man explained. “I spoke to my siblings about it and we realised he had been doing it our whole lives.”
The caller said his family had a “sit-down chat” to address the matter.
Some publications, for whatever reason, have shared an image of a man believed to be the dad in question. For obvious reasons, we won’t be doing that, neither will we be linking to it. But we did think it was an interesting story to share without disclosing anyone’s personal information, beyond an already-gestured name.
Here’s your reminder, in case you forgot already, that outing folk is dangerous and irresponsible.
The lesson here, clearly, is to be careful the next time you’re talking to someone where both of you decline to exchange face pics – it might just be a family member. Or Jacob’s dad.
Why not have a look at Grindr Unwrapped to see which countries have the most top, bottom and versatile users, along with other surprising stats.