I wrote on Twitter recently – shameless (butt) plug – about the absurdity of having to “coming out”. Nevertheless, it is something that a lot of us still have to do, so here are my tips…
1) Start small (ha…ha…ha…).
Tell one friend. In my case it was a female friend I had actually “dated” (in the same way that a tomato is technically a fruit). We had also “had sex” (in the same way that you wouldn’t put it in a fruit salad (mine went nowhere near her fruit salad)). Anyway, she was a great source of support.
2) You don’t have to tell everyone.
I phoned 5-6 of my closest friends and assumed that they, like me, would love nothing more than to be armed with a slice of salacious gossip so would spray it all over town (not the only thing I was hoping they’d spray waheyyy). Within minutes I received a text from a friend that read “apparently you’re a bender?” so at least the tactic worked….
3) Tell people when you’re both sober.
I told my brothers at my sister’s 30th. One of them called me the next day and we chatted about it. The other one assumed I was joking (am I really that masc?) until I told him a week later that my boyfriend was going to be staying with me in our family home over the Easter holidays…
4) You don’t have to come out.
You don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t need to explain that your behaviour – sexual or otherwise – fits into any category. It may not anyway. It’s YOUR choice. If I could have my time again I would’ve just walked up to each of my straight friends and made out with them. No more explanation required.
5. It gets easier.
I never thought I would find saying “I’m gay” as easy as I do now but I basically SCREAM it these days. It’s clichéd af but coming out was the first day of the rest of my life and I love being who I am so just – assuming it’s safe to do so – go for it!