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I wrote on Twitter recently – shameless (butt) plug – about the absurdity of having to “coming out”. Nevertheless, it is something that a lot of us still have to do, so here are my tips…
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1) Start small (ha…ha…ha…).
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Tell one friend. In my case it was a female friend I had actually “dated” (in the same way that a tomato is technically a fruit). We had also “had sex” (in the same way that you wouldn’t put it in a fruit salad (mine went nowhere near her fruit salad)). Anyway, she was a great source of support.
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2) You don’t have to tell everyone.
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I phoned 5-6 of my closest friends and assumed that they, like me, would love nothing more than to be armed with a slice of salacious gossip so would spray it all over town (not the only thing I was hoping they’d spray waheyyy). Within minutes I received a text from a friend that read “apparently you’re a bender?” so at least the tactic worked….
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3) Tell people when you’re both sober.
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I told my brothers at my sister’s 30th. One of them called me the next day and we chatted about it. The other one assumed I was joking (am I really that masc?) until I told him a week later that my boyfriend was going to be staying with me in our family home over the Easter holidays…
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4) You don’t have to come out.
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You don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t need to explain that your behaviour – sexual or otherwise – fits into any category. It may not anyway. It’s YOUR choice. If I could have my time again I would’ve just walked up to each of my straight friends and made out with them. No more explanation required.
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5. It gets easier.
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I never thought I would find saying “I’m gay” as easy as I do now but I basically SCREAM it these days. It’s clichĂ©d af but coming out was the first day of the rest of my life and I love being who I am so just – assuming it’s safe to do so – go for it!
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