Matt- Jeff Goldblum (as David Levinson)
The year was 1996. An alien invasion of New York had Jeff Goldblum on high alert, bringing
with it the largest nerd sexual awakening since the emergence of Albert Einstein on the “scene.”
Gays and gals everywhere rejoiced as we watched Jeff save us from world destruction (all with
a tongue-and-cheek delivery!). Think about it people: time and again we have learned that
when the world is ending, the neurotic nerdy man running around with his computer screaming
about satellites is the man to shack up with! And don’t even get me started with the Dinosaurs!!
Jeff, thank you, for making learning sexy again.
Brandon – Will Smith (as Capt. Steve Hiller)
Imagine it – I’m Viveca Fox, Goddess/actress/choice-maker extraordinaire and I walk into my
kitchen and a shirtless Will Smith is making cereal!? Phew. To be the spoon in your hand, Will
Smith. I had been in love with him for years. My Fresh Prince, my BAD BOY – but now he was
saving the world from ALIENS?! And on a NATIONAL HOLIDAY!? Come through sexy
patriotism! My nerdy heart exploded into a million pieces. It sent me into orbit with a blast off
from my pants.
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle –
John Cho (as Harold Lee) & Kal Penn (Kumar Patel)
Brandon – John Cho (as Harold)
There are a lot of things I would do for a White Castle burger. But there are ENDLESS
AMOUNTS OF THINGS I would do for national treasure and heartthrob, John Cho. It was like
my worlds collided, fast food and quirky shy men. Harold Lee had my heart when he first
stepped onto that elevator trying to get his neighbor’s attention Paula Garces. MY GOD, I was
literally jealous of her (and her gorgeous hair damnit.) Swoon.
Matt – Kal Penn (as Kumar)
Any man who fights off a raccoon, and drives to Jersey to get me White Castle is Husband
Material in my opinion. Kal Penn, listen, you were great in the TV Show House, hilarious in How
I Met Your Mother, I thought it was amazing that you left acting for a while to join Obama’s
White House team, but when you broke out of jail and then smoked weed with that Cheetah and
rode it back through the woods to get to White Castle, that when I knew you had my heart. It’s
the commitment for me.
Star Wars –
Chewbacca & Harrison Ford (as Han Solo)
Matt – Chewbacca
Oh Chewy, you had me at ARRRRGGGGGRHHHHH. Mmmm, so much depth, so much
insight, so much nuance in every “word” said. Truth be told, he’s a better conversationalist than
most of the men you talk to Friday night at the bar. So ARGGHHHH away baby. And that fur?
Dayummmm. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a fellow hairy boy. Am I biased? Perhaps. But
hairy men are out of this universe. So Chewy, lets get together and use the force between us to
go to galaxies far, far away. Are you my daddy? I think so.
Brandon – Harrison Ford (as Han Solo)
I love a bad boy. I love a rule breaker. I love a space smuggler – all things I wrote in my journal
the night I first watched the famous STAR WARS when I was 12 years old. Little did I know I
liked my men stubborn and in space. Like Leia, I found myself with no underwear, wrapped in
my white bedsheet running around shooting nerf guns still thinking about that space hunk Han
Solo. All I know is that Harrison Ford in ANY form can go ahead an “Leia” one on these lips of
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