Coming out.


National Coming Out Day was first observed on October 11, 1988 – the anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.

National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights protest
National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights (Image: OutHistory)


The spirit of National Coming Out Day isn’t to force, or even encourage, anyone to come out – that process is always deeply personal and has to be done whenever the person is ready. 


It’s to celebrate those who have come out, and to show those who haven’t that there is beauty in living proudly and openly LGBTQ+.


While each person’s experience is different, coming out remains one of the single actions that unifies every one of us in our wonderfully diverse and intersectional LGBTQ+ community. 

For many queer people these days, thankfully, the process isn’t quite as frightening as it once was. However, many of us still face considerable challenges. 


In fact, for many, the process of coming out isn’t just a one-time thing. Some queer folks will come out several times, in various ways, over the course of their life. 


Over on @ItsLitGayShit, we asked you to share your own coming out story (in brief). The replies were, unsurprisingly, VERY varied – because there is no single way to come out. 


If you’re struggling with coming out or anything related to your sexual orientation or gender, and you feel you could use some support, help is available. 

In the U.K., visit SwitchboardLGBT or call 0300 330630

In the U.S., visit The Trevor Project or call them.


We had a LOT of replies, so sorry if we didn’t include yours this time. Here’s a few you came back with….

“Literally my teacher caught be blowing a guy behind school and called my folks” 

“I told my parents and brother a few days after Christmas. I wanted to wait to make sure I got my gifts lol” 

“When I came out to my Mom, she said “me too”. Then, “You know my friend Barb…”‘


“I came out aged 17, on Christmas day… in the 90s(!!)”


“Family dinner worked well for me.”

“Told my best friend, threw up. Cried a lot just before telling him.”

“My Mum was nervous because she knew something was up and thought I murdered someone. So she was relieved when I just came out”

“Bro: “You shouldn’t dress up just for boys”, Me: “I don’t. I like girls too”‘

“I just brought my boyfriend to dinner and, when they asked, said he was my boyfriend” 

“Everyone already knew. Everyone still loved me after I brought my first boyfriend over”

“My Mom just told me that she knew”

“So first I came out as bi. Then gay. Then, more recently I realized I am trans. So I’ve had a few – lol” 

“My Mom literally walked in on me and my friends (a guy I was secretly in love with and our female friend) having a threesome”

“Mine was really hard and emotional. My family are pretty religious. It took time. It’s still a process, but it’s getting better”

“I saw that episode of Glee where the guy came out. So I went into the living room and did the same”.

“I had to come out after my parents found some sexts from this guy” 

“Friends were joking that I was gay. I couldn’t take it anymore and screamed ‘I DON’T KNOW'”


“My best friend thought I was flirting with her in front of her boyfriend. So I had to tell her I was gay.” 

“I moved to another country where I was able to free live out my sexuality” 

“My Mom just KNEW”

“When I was 17 to friends. At 31 to my parents, with a letter”

“Kissed a girl at a party, was shit. Then I got with the nicest looking gay guy at the pub, now I’m gay” 

“I actually didn’t have to. My whole family is queer AF. So, I just casually mentioned it, and no one cared!”


“I told my Dad. His reply was “Okay, do you want another beer?”

“My Dad asked me if I was gay. I said yes.” 

“Told my mother while we made a pot of pea soup. Just felt like the right moment for it” 

“A letter to my family so I could say everything I wanted to say”


“My Mom asked me. I nodded. She told the rest of the family.”


“Moved across the country where no one gave a shit lol” 

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