Author: Shrimp Teeth
How to have non-sexual polyamorous relationships
For me, relationship anarchy feels a lot more aligned with the ways that I view my relationships than other forms of ethical non-monogamy (ENM).
While I do love having many sexual partners, I’m just as slutty for people who spark my curiosity and creativity.
It’s easy to get bogged down by what polyamory SHOULD look like when you’re new. But after a while, you start to realize that the only thing that truly matters is how YOU and your pals feel about the connections you make.
There’s no one correct ENM structure. Libido changes, desire is variable between couples, sexual attraction is just one form of attraction, and sex means different things to different people.
All these factors are reasons to not fully center your polyam practice around sex.
Sex is a relatively small part of many polyam relationships but causes a large amount of turmoil.
Lots of folks choose to have non-sexual relationships with certain pals. This is a valid decision, being honest about how much effort you want to invest is vital to maintaining ENM.
Expand the scope of your relationships. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sex-based ENM but it’s ridiculous to think this is the driving force behind all polyamory.
I practice relationship anarchy because I want the freedom to define how I connect with other people. Not just because I like hookups.
Sam is a sex educator and artist who explores queerness, polyamory, and sexuality through their work. She’s passionate about exploring ways to broaden relationship structures to foster more connections between people. They use art and illustration as part of their education process.
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