No-Nonsense Non-Monogamy: How does relationship anarchy work?


Exploring queerness, polyamory, and sexuality, with @ShrimpTeeth.

Author: Shrimp Teeth

How does relationship anarchy work?

It took me a while to realize that I prefer relationship anarchy (RA) to polyamory.


At first, I didn’t understand what RA meant and it honestly scared me. I kept hearing “people get to do whatever they want,” and thought it meant acting carelessly… it doesn’t!


What I love about relationship anarchy is that it goes beyond romantic/sexual relationships and impacts how you view and structure all of your connections.

It’s offered me so much more flexibility, rather than having to fit each relationship into a standardized box.

Typically we only recognize the following relationship scripts:

  • lover
  • friend
  • family
  • co-worker
  • acquaintance


RA gives us the ability to get rid of these preconceived notions and focus on which agreements best fit everyone involved.


For me, having creative companions, queerplatonic relationships, familial bonds with exes, comets, FWBs, adventure buddies, and beyond is appealing.

Artwork @ShrimpTeeth

Relationship anarchy offers the frameworks to establish all these connections without necessarily ascribing an order of importance.

It also reflects my belief that having consensually alternative relationships is not dependent on the number of partners you have.


Unfortunately, I’ve seen many polyamorous communities create rigid scripts for how people “should” practice, I reject this notion.

I want to offer my pals the ability and freedom to connect with others in ways that enhance their lives, I want the same.

I love that relationship anarchy forces us to talk about what we want and removes the pressure of fitting into a box or conforming to a label.

To me, relationship anarchy is completely aligned with my understanding of queerness. Both are inseparable. I know some folks resist this idea, but for me, relationships and sexuality are meant to offer freedom and autonomy rather than create new measures we have to live up to.


Sam is a sex educator and artist who explores queerness, polyamory, and sexuality through their work. She’s passionate about exploring ways to broaden relationship structures to foster more connections between people. They use art and illustration as part of their education process.

No Nonsense Non Monogamy is brought to you by GLUE.

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